One thing I will always be is “Daddy”. It’s the best title I’ve ever earned and it’s not one I’m willing to give up. It’s my favorite word in the world when it’s coming from my kids.
Gendered language is frustrating in so many ways. I’m not sure I want my daughter to have to explain what she means when she says “she’s my daddy”. Maybe someday, people won’t find explanations like that necessary.
I get thrilled when I hear myself referred to as “wife”, and I love hearing my name spoken at me. It’s very satisfying to hear it from the lips of strangers or near strangers. But I’m not dissociated from my other name. I can’t even call it a dead name. It kinda has a life of its own and probably will long after I’ve abandoned it completely. I think the best term for it is “Zombie Name”
So hi, I’m Willow. I’m daddy to a couple of super amazing kids, and my spouse calls me her wife. I feel like it’s enough to make an English teacher’s head explode, but here I am. Deal with it.
If you think about how instantly and unquestioningly B accepted C as a woman. That’s just how it was. My hope is that her generation will be like that, and will stay like that. “Oh ok, cool.”